Ready for the Dialogue to begin, while expectant for the Voices to appear. No major issue to solve here today, just a curiosity to taste my many Selves. Sitting on the sofa as I always do, making such familiar spot a kind of starting point. But to where? And, specially, to who?

{moving to the right, still sitting next to me}

Looking at his face in front of me, I realize another second me who —taking care of the actions and reactions of that face— makes sure the connection to the outside flows quite smooth. He then invites the one who is describing the situation to describe himself. All of sudden a triangle of me’s has formed before my eye.

{bending to the front, quite opposing his guiding voice}

Confused, thinking, restarting, mentally blank. Trying to remember, perhaps to guess, what’s the subject of his question to which the predicate applies. So used to being fluent and concerned about actions, the simple actor of this one escapes to me now. It is me, for sure, but what me? Traversing that confusion, most thoughts and voices shut up. Me is now barely more than a pure mental blank.

{top downwards sunk and bending forth}

He then turns the inducing words once again, inviting me to feel my body’s weight. It is now heavier than before, and so this me allows himself to reach the floor. Laying down, testing first this side and then that one, I finally repose along the line. Opening my eyes, he is there gazing like a father. Closing my eyes I see the white cord from my belly, reaching non-existence all the time. It feels beautifully white. I am nor dead nor alive; maybe both.

{raising up again}

Confusion again, this time felt more beneath my head. Such a blissful decoherence reigns the self. TV noise-like channels all at once, we have moved to a third screen deeper out. And so I smile: I got this play now. It is time to stand up.

{sitting on the rocking chair}

I am the outlet of the material that goes through. I am the opening of the lid from where creativity is poured down. I am indifferent to the flow, which depends on the filters underneath. Lately, I know that more and more is coming in. The dogs at the border renounce to examine every package that arrives. I then feel the gratitude on behalf of all of them. I have not realized it but I am now another me.

{inclined forward on that rocking chair}

So I am asked again: but, what do you do? I am the guy that keeps them all grateful. This is essential to make it work, inside. And then a cheeky smile coming from the left literally kicks in. Its name is falsehood. Time to move.

{further towards the window, standing and leaning on the wall}

I am now falsehood —anger wants to come in too. They’re kind of cousins. Suddenly a queue of selves from that gang is formed. Falsehood openly talks about the job: we copy the tricks of the inside to replicate them on the outside. The authentic unauthentic role at play! But why, the man in the chair asks? To protect the inner peace from the outside noise.

{two steps back and to the left}

I am not so seriously false as I appear to be. I am also playful most of the time, cause everything is more or less always alright.

{still there}

All the others want to say hi and talk now. Specially anger (who has tried before) wants to take possession of the speech. But, no, not now. A big fire is in front of me. I am that too. Many tiny powerful flames heat up a huge cauldron. The Mind is very active; talking very much.

{asked to go back to the starting point, I sit down}

I am back to square one, yet the crooked spiral has move forth. Can I feel my physical body? Trying hard. Not much stands. It is from the surface that I talk now: the air of the mind touching the ground. Mind tells Will what to do. Mind needs Will to do. Centering on my belly and hips, I plan to submerge in the underworld.

{sitting on my heels, circling around}

So I try to explore my body, and let it move to feel it close, closer. Finally falling on my heels with bent legs, I feel the pressure on my thighs. I am a huge boulder, a solid brown rock. I finally dove into the underworld.

{aiming to stand up, I freeze half way between}

Standing like an archer, with one leg sunk on earth, I see the little goblins with all their seriousness. Mind is invited as a guest; it can only be shown here. I appreciate the new provinces of tools for me to master. No elf’s arrow makes a difference in the ground.

{simply sitting back}

Appearing there, as if simply possession of that space had been taken, all is somewhere somehow, Alex has been gone for a while, including the persons we have visited so far. Who are you, he asks? I have no name to name me; I know I am very old but always fresh. Since when have you been with us? Nearly since the beginning, including every beginning. How do you serve him? I really don’t bother to care. I am.

{closing the journey, back to the left}

Before we close, I take a glimpse of the space. I realize my path and the zones I didn’t want to thread. There is something on the further left I recognize: a set of old stuff beneath an old curtain. It reminds me of my grandmother’s house. Another day, another time, I’ll be with you, in you. Finally, I feel my palms touching my legs, as a promise to my body to be with it. That’s it for now. Quite a beautiful ride. One of experiences literally beyond the five senses. That is indeed the future of philosophy and science. Today, a brief assay as an essay in this cosmic singularity that is our cave.

{Thank you, J, for being the perfect silent walker by my side}

“In fact the Infinite does not create, it manifests what is in itself, in its own essence of reality; it is itself that essence of all reality and all realities are powers of that one Reality. The Absolute neither creates nor is created, — in the current sense of making or being made; we can speak of creation only in the sense of the Being becoming in form and movement what it already is in substance and status. Yet we have to emphasise its indeterminability in that special and positive sense, not as a negation but as an indispensable condition of its free infinite self-determination, because without that the Reality would be a fixed eternal determinate or else an indeterminate fixed and bound to a sum of possibilities of determination inherent within it. Its freedom from all limitation, from any binding by its own creation cannot be itself turned into a limitation, an absolute incapacity, a denial of all freedom of self-determination; it is this that would be a contradiction, it would be an attempt to define and limit by negation the infinite and illimitable. Into the central fact of the two sides of the nature of the Absolute, the essential and the self-creative or dynamic, no real contradiction enters; it is only a pure infinite essence that can formulate itself in infinite ways. One statement is complementary to the other, there is no mutual cancellation, no incompatibility; it is only the dual statement of a single inescapable fact by human reason in human language.”

Sri Aurobindo

“Diré que hauré emmudit
reservant-me l’opinió i l’armament,
bateries d’arguments, tots ells de pes.

Serà molt millor així.
T’estalviaré sentir la meva part,
aquesta que em crema per dins
aquesta que em rossega el pit
i m’infon els danys
d’on obtindria la tinta i el traç
de lletres suïcides.

Pseudofinals
però aquest no és el cas.
Renunciaré a l’arsenal,
a l’incomptable arsenal,
mentre et torno bé per mal
i en paus…
i gràcies.”

SANPEDRO

{link}

“The intellect must consent to pass out of the bounds of a finite logic and accustom itself to the logic of the Infinite. On this condition alone, by this way of seeing and thinking, it ceases to be paradoxical or futile to speak of the ineffable: but if we insist on applying a finite logic to the Infinite, the omnipresent reality will escape us and we shall grasp instead an abstract shadow, a dead form petrified into speech or a hard incisive graph which speaks of the Reality but does not express it. Our way of knowing must be appropriate to that which is to be known.”

Sri Aurobindo

1.
Sit in the perfect stillness, concentrated in the stillness of self,
let all desires, emotions, pains, anger, doubt go to the Mother,
let Her take it all and dissolve it in her loving compassion;
then be aware of that perfect stillness, free from everything,
vast and empty like the clear sky, in the vast Mother of all buddhas,
simply be in that perfect awareness of the vastness, the emptiness,
the perfect self awareness.

(This is the liberation from suffering and death)

2.
Then realize the joy that arises in that stillness.
Everything that happens arises in that stillness,
and that stillness remains. Nothing can change it.
Identified with Her, all actions, events, gains, losses,
pains, pleasures, arise and pass away in that joyful stillness.
That is the perfect awareness.

(This is the liberation of life and joy)

Dzogchen

“I put my penny in the slot, but before I can draw out my ticlket there is an earthquake which upsets the machine and my calculations. In order to be sure of the expected effect, we must know that there is nothing in the environment to interfere with it. But this mneans that the supposed cause is not, by itself, adequate to insure the effect. And as soon as we include the environiment, the probability of repetition is diminished, until at last, when the whole environment is included, the probability of repetition becomes almost niil.”

Betrand Russell