de rerum natura

I am in a process of self-actualization all the time everywhere anyhow no matter what. I just scrapped my to-do list and swapped it for a to-be list. I want to focus on becoming. I may even write a grant application to support research on that. Experiments on experiences. Becoming attracted towards being. Reaching in and out to become my own entire reality. Don’t you have the impression that things change, still they are the same. The old problem of change strikes back once more. Fear of the unknown, where old departs for new. Immobility as impotence, rather than peace. Will stuck in unwillingness. Eagerness that lasts a couple for breaths. Why is time eroding what we claim to appreciate the most? Why is inertia maintaining the unnecessary? While considering what I need to live my full potential, I discover there is something weird in the pyramid: it is inverted, upside-down, inside-out. How can I expect to work on the spirit provided my stomach is full? Involution is a premise for evolution. Evolution, an implicit backwards progression to the heights. The what is often agreed upon. The how can differ but it does not really matter so much. The what for, being of extreme importance, is systematically left out of the picture. Our psychological reverse is performing at its best here. We strive for things we do not really believe in. We want stuff our needs reject. We can only embrace a little portion of reality. Should I stay or should I go? I will consider the trilemma, nevertheless, and go so that I can stay. You can give me your feedback, if you wish. I will not accept your fuckback anymore. I am learning to see through the smoke of my self-steam. I accept to never stop posing the problem whose solution is ever to be found. My action plan has turned into an inaction plan. The hardest of all achievements, my biggest challenge, is three-fold: to silence my mind, to quiet my vital and to gain independence from my body. What is behind will reveal then. And I promise that once the solution is forever gone, I will not blame it to be the cause of the problem, but the problem itself in its dual complementary form of existence. Bliss! Please take away from me what I never held so that I can hold, with my two hands, what I always had.

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